You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: *takes out sword*
You: *takes spear*
You: *throw it at stranger*
Stranger: *Puts up shield*
You: *opens lion's cage and gets in the crowd*
Stranger: says: "Sh*t just got real*
You: *Throws stones at stranger from the crowd, the crowd follows*
Stranger: *Fights the lion and slits lions throat*
You: *screams like a little girl*
Stranger: *Cuts lion skin and wears skin like cape and pretends is ancient batman*
You: *Organise a Roman forum to discuss the matter*
Stranger: *Begs Zeus for forgivness for killing innocent during riot*
You: *Dresses up an schizofrenic inmate as a woman, naming him 'The Joker'*
Stranger: *Gets giant candle and puts wheel with bat sized hole over candle and signals the batman*
You: *Sends stones with riddles engraved on them, sign them off with 'The riddler'
Stranger: *Releases army of penguins all with notes attached saying "The Penguin strikes again*
You: Riddle reads: "The sky is blue, my eggs are rotten. All of Rome shall burn and be forgotten"
Stranger: *Ponders about how well thought out that riddle was*
You: *Giant bird flies over Rome, with The Riddler and The Joker riding it. Riddler laughs at beating Batman at wits*
Stranger: *Batman runs to the shadows and disappears and later goes to parents graves and says "I swear to you both, I will stop the Riddler...once and for all."
You: *Rotten eggs with boiling lava drop over outer Rome*
Stranger: *Militia rallies and fights off demons from hell and ask Roman gods for help*
You: *Giant bird crashes into an open field. Riddler is defenseless against Militia but The Joker escapes, dissappearing into a woman rights center*
Stranger: *Militia beats Riddler to death and batman wears skin for cape and then they go to the womens rights center and laughs before lighting it on fire*
You: *Woman rights center is empty, they are picketing over their rights. Joker sends a twisted message to batman, saying that there's a bomb attached to three woman and he is among them*
Stranger: *Militia look around and don't see joker and give up and go home and continue their lives til bombs go off, they look off to the distance and see bomb opened a portal to another dimension*
You: *It's a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight and a dimension of mind, which shall they enter?*
Stranger: *After much discussion and harsh exchange of words, men go into dimension of mind*
You: *The dimension of mind is a giant cave, filled with hundreds of stunningly beautiful women bathing in geisers and showering underneath waterfalls. They are all scarcely dressed.*
Stranger: *men continue to look on at beautiful women and drop their weapons and pull down their quilts*
You: *A flash lightens the cave and fills it with smoke. A small mage with a beard that drags behind him on the floor appears. He asks the men to hold their horses, while he stumbles over his beard*
Stranger: *Men grin at mage who fell and wonder why they should stop from having intercourse with the women*
You: "It might appear as if these women are willing and they probably are. But once your holy roman swords enter their respective caves, a haunting spell is cast upon you! You must beware and not be drawn in by their charm, or face the consequences!"
Stranger: *Most men don't hear the warning and began to have sex with women, only a small band of 23 men heed the warning and grab and their shields and swords and prepare for wha might come*
You: *The mage further identifies to the listening men as a master in sexual eufimisms. The men who didn't hear him, begin screaming in agony as the beautiful women keep on having coitus with them*
Stranger: *As the men having sex began to cry and scream in pain, their bodies began to get paler and paler until they become white and ghost and fall to the ground dead. The remaining men stare in fear and thank the mage for the warning*
You: *The mage explains what just happened. He tells them that every organ came out of the respective humping Militia through their holy roman genitals. The women fed on their internal organs, back to the last living brain cells of the men. The mage offers to send them back to Rome, where two new portals are waiting to be explored. Or do they want to risk to be charmed by the ladies?*
Stranger: *The men do not wish to have such an unspeakable act brought on them, turning away from the women, one man asks the mage "Where does the second portal lead?"*
You: "It leads to the dimension of sight. A beautiful panoramic view awaits you. But beware, as it is not what it seems. I will grant one of the 23 miltia with the ability to read minds, in return for your trust in me. Which one shall take this skill and be enlightened forever more?"
Stranger: *Some men began to ask who should take the gift. It is not long before fighting breaks out and some of the men began to battle amongst themselves, until young man, no more then 21 steps forward from the group and says that he will take the gift*
You: *The mage casts his spell at the 21yo man, but not before his magical wand gets stuck in his beard a few times. He wishes the men good luck and mentions that 23 virgins await after this wonderous quest, two of which are redheads. He winks at the men, wereafter they are zapped to the dimension of sight. A beautiful panoramic view streches out before the men. Mountains in the distance have electrical storms surrounding them. The village of sight is visable in the valley. It seems peaceful, but a dark feeling overcomes the mindreader of the group.*
Stranger: *As the men wonder into the village they are greeted by citizens and are all shown to the inn where they began to glutton themselves with some of the best meat and beer they have ever tasted. The mindreader begans to notice something is wrong and decides to stop have the food and talks to 7 men and convince them to stop as well but the rest continue to feast and drink*
You: *As the men begin to explore the village, something seems horribly wrong. The villagers seem confused and bump into buildings. The men soon notice the villagers are all blind. They cannot help but wonder what the source of their confusion might be, because blindness is totally no reason to be confused in the village where you have lived for generations. As they return to the inn, they are struck by surprise, as it is replaced by an ordinary tree.*
Stranger: *The men are all confused about how the inn just turned into a tree, as most began to talk the problem over, the mindread and his group all stare at the dazed men and try talking to the men, but their voices go unheard and when the dazed men look the mindreader and his band, they began to all scream in terror and grab their weapons, saying they are monsters and began to chase after them with their weapons*
Stranger: I'm sorry to interupt the story but I will be back in a few minutes
You: I'll have time to write my part then!
You: *The villagers surround the seven men and ask what their actual bussiness is in the village. The mages voice enters the 21 yo man's mind. He says that these villagers must be helped and that the 16 other men aren't dead. There are three villagers that strike intrest in the man, one is old, gray and besides blind, a little deaf. Another one is heavily cloaked, to the extent that the eyes cannot be seen. The third one is a young woman, whose innocence shines through her faded eyes. The 21yo man is able read their minds and come by their story, one by one. Which one shall he read first and what shall he ask their mind?*
You: *Each of these villagers can only be asked one question, as their heightend other senses can detect mind reading*
Stranger: *The man decided to ask the women what caused her eyes to fade thinking that she was pure and kind hearted*
You: *the mind reads that these people are born with faded eyes, due to excessive incest and radioactive stormclouds. Though these people have learned to live with their handicap, they can hardly find their homes at night, as everything moves places when it is not touched or observed. The girl notices him reading her mind and the crowd becomes a little bit more furious*
Stranger: *The man apologizes for doing such an act and explains that they were sent there from another realm and hurries and reads the cloaked mans thoughts, senseing that he is the most dangerous and wants to know how he would part if a fight were to break out*
Stranger: take part*
You: *The cloaked man reveals his darkest secret, for he has sight over all things and controls the holographic information of space in this village, meaning he can change places of all things otherwise known to these blind villagers. He changes the place of things, just to mess with people and offcourse in order to see the young girl bathing naked. For the cloaked man has eyesight, he is not aware of the actions of the mind reader and continues to be idle. When a fight breaks out, he will surely use his trickery to escape the scene or worse... kill the 7 militia.*
Stranger: *Taking notice of this mans powers the mindreader is shocked but does not show this because he doesn't wish to alert the cloaked man. As he makes up a story about his home he begans to ponder a way to stop this cloaked man and free these villagers. After a hour of talking the man has thought of the perfect idea to end this man, but wonders when it should be put into effect, wishing to end it sooner rather then later, he reads the old mans thought, hoping this act will anger the crowd ever more*
You: *The old man noticed that the cloaked man can often lead him the way through the village, which he does only for him, because this old man is the cloaked man's father. The poor old man lives a deluded life, as he thinks his son is also blind and father sees his son's ability to always go back home as a gift. The old man and the cloaked man certainly have a soft spot for eachother, but the revealing of a terrible secret might change the old man's mind... The crowd becomes enraged, our heroes have to think quickly*
Stranger: *The mindreader puts his plan into action stating "A traitor is among you, a man who acts like the rest of you, but isn't. Amongst yourselves is a man who claims to be blind like the rest of you, but have perfect vision and can even change where he is. This man is the reason you all have become this way. Don't believe us if you wish, but if you truely desire your sight back, you will help end this man!"*
You: *The crowd is startled, but the old man immidiately knows what's up. He commands his son to leave town and never return. When, after a good night's sleep, the villagers don't have their eyesight back, they feel cheated, although their confusion has ended, so they simply ask the sighted men, reunited once more, to leave. At the point where they entered this dimension, they encounter the mage, not before he freed his beard from a door, which he foolishly closed without watching out. The door dissapears. The mage grants one of the men another treat, which man will get the most chisled body and face known to man and the ability to make any woman fall for him? And even more important: will they enter the dimension of sound?*
Stranger: *Having failed the village the mindreader decides not to take this gift and after much talking they decide that the man given this gift should be the 17 year old who never really had much luck when it came to women. Then they asked the mage what the dimension of sound holds for them.*
You: *The dimension of sound will consist of the most horrible sound known to man, but that sound is only the total of a whole bunch of sounds, which some of the men in the militia might recognize... Will you enter this dimension? There is still time to retreat and go back to leading your normal lives in Rome."
Stranger: *Out of the 7 men who began this quest, 3 decide to go back to their homes in Rome, fearing the sound they hear could drive them insane or kill them, leaving 4 left to explore the dimension and whatever else is to come, the remaining men consist of the mindreader, the newly gifted 17 year old and his brother, and another man who never spoke a word since entering the 1st dimension. As they began to move toward the portal, they can hear a terrifiying sound coming the blue rift in space and pause, but only for a moment and then continure inside the portal*
You: *They enter a dimension of horrible noise, a cathedral like environment is a home to most devilishly sound they have ever heard. The sound resonates all around, like a screeching broken harp at the end of a play. In the distance they see 3 women standing in the exact same distance of eachother, screaming at the walls. The silent man, the 17 yo kid's brother and the mindreader recognize these women, as they are their respective life partners and lovers. The wives of these three men are devestated at the fact that their men are about to leave them for the 23 virgins, which is why they are screaming without end. The mage tells the mindreader that this sound has to stop, in order to complete the quest. How will they handle this?*
Stranger: *All 3 men hurry over to their wives and began to call out their names, but nothing happens, the women just continue to scream and shriek at the walls, taking no notice to their husbands being right beside them. The mind reader tries to read their thoughts, hoping to gain a clue as how to end their mourning. But try as he might, all he can hear is the sound all 3 of them make and can't make out what any of them are saying. He thinks that maybe the mage will have a clue to this problem, but when he turns around, he sees that the mage is gone, disappeared without a trace. As the mindreader starts to lose confidence and faith in himself he falls to his knees and puts his face in his hands*
You: *The mage makes a sudden appearance, next to the mindreader. He assures him that his wife will return back to normal after this quest, but adds that she might never love him again. He points towards the 17yo boy, standing in the spot where they entered the dimension, watching in horror and covering his ears. "All women fall for him", the mage said, as by clue. "Besides, 23 virgins waiting to peel your bananas, how 's that for a change? Although you all must make a choice now, those who wish to abort their quests, shall say so and they shall be returned home safely, with their wives." the sexual eufymism mage bows his head and awaits every man's response, his beard gets stuck between a few floorboards for a while, but is soon able to free himself and continue waiting. The mindreader detects a catch, but is uncertain of what it might be...*
Stranger: *As the mindreader listens to the mage he begans to think "What if the mage is telling the truth? If all women do fall for him, my wife would fall in love with him and leave me, as would the others. No...no that wouldn't happen. My wife loves me..doesn't she? Of course, she always has, and always will....but what if I'm wrong? And what if the 23 virgins see him as well, they will all go for him!" At this moment the man begans to let fear and anxiety take hold of his mind and his judgement becomes clouded. He goes into a rage and begans to walk toward the boy, picking up his sword he dropped*
You: *the place becomes silent. The mage in surprise, the three women because they notice the situation unfolding and the lovely boy standing in the corner, they fall in love immediately. The quest is complete, the women will never love their men again. The boy's brother and the silent man are stunned by the sudden silence.The mage awaits the group's request to zap the men to their virgins. What will the mindreader, the boy, his brother and the silent man do next?"*
Stranger: The mindreader doesn't even take notice to the silence, only filled with anger and fear he makes his way to the boy and lifts up his sword. The boy looks up "What are y-" but the boy is cut off. The mindreader has driven the sword straight through his rib cage and into his right lung. As he pulls out the bloody sword, the boy falls to the ground and blood begans to fill his mouth. *His brother and the silent man are stunned by what just happened. And are even futher shocked by what they saw next. All 3 of the wives rush over to the boy and fall to their knees by him and begin to cry. The mindreaders wife turns to him "Please kill me! I can't stand to live without him. Kill me!" Horrified by what he hears, the mindreader slowly backs away shaking his head in disbelief. The boys brother rushs over to him and stares at what has happened to him. The mindreader tumbles backwards and puts his shaking hands over his face. As he can hear all 3 women crying he looks out of the coner of his eye and sees the mage*
You: *The mage takes his wand and asks - a little indifferent to the whole situation - if the three remaining guys want to go to their 23 virgins, two of which, he reminds them, are redheads.*
Stranger: *Hearing this, the mindreader is overjoyed by the fact that not one, but two are redheads. He decides to go to the 23 virgins. The brother seeing no reason to live on, he grabs his sword and kills himself. The silent man just walks over the mage and nodes his head, secretly wishing they're more blondes then anything*
You: *The silent man and the mindreader reach their final destination. It's a paradise on earth, a palace in a valley in the Roman alps. The virgins were the most beatiful creatures they had ever seen, they were just as they wanted them, and were almost equally devided between the two men. The creatures were charming, adorable and listened to their new men. The mage visited them, as he wanted to congratulate them for completing the quest. "You have restored moral balance in the three dimensions. But by doing so, you have introduced a lot of physical unbalance and people who are alien to the environment. The dimensions and all who was left behind will be destroyed, the beautiful murderous women in the dimension of mind, your feasting men and the blind villagers in the dimension of sight and your wives in the dimension of sound."*
Stranger: *The two men listen to the men and think about what he had just told them. After much time, they had decided they didn't care and they deserve their rewards*
Stranger: man*
You: *The mage returned to his duties, whatever they were, but not before his beard got stuck in the door. He congratulated the men again and wished them many milked snakes, rubbed carpets and grinded gears, as he was still the sexual eufemism mage.*
You: THE END
